Wednesday, January 9, 2013

It Was Like Being the New Kid and the Fat Kid at the School Dance

If I haven't bitched to you about the company I'm currently working for we probably haven't spoken since I got to China. It's basically been a confounding, endless, shit storm. Luckily, I'm resigning and hopefully that'll just be that. I have to meet with my manager A.K.A. Dragon Lady tonight so I can find out exactly how much of my last paycheck she's going to withhold.

Any who, before I tendered my resignation (that's a thing people say, right?) I lined up a new job. I'll be a drama teacher with an international program called Helen O'Grady Academy. It's a company based in Australia with locations in twenty-seven countries that teaches creativity and communication skills to children and teens through theatrical skill work, games, and productions. Basically, I get to be a drama teacher in a company with other westerners involved. Should be a massive improvement.

Now, this job doesn't start officially until February. But I was invited to help out with the Christmas Party they were throwing for the students by playing guitar and singing Christmas carols. I've never been payed to play music before so I figured it'd be an easy way to make a little extra cash and it would be a decent gig.

It's a less than encouraging start with this company.

I was asked to be there at one. I showed up, pulled out my guitar, got warmed up, asked "Hey, where and when do you want me to start playing?" The response was a firm "We'll let you know where. You'll be going on about half past three."

Sigh.

I was a bit peeved about that so I just found a corner to sit and practice my music. It worked for a little while until the person in charge, a Canadian named Jennifer, asked me to do some stuff to help. Normally, I'd be happy to help set up. If I'd been asked to come to this event to help set up I would have done that. But I was told to come play guitar. That was the deal. And everyone seemed to forget that I didn't know anyone there or where anything was in the building.

"Give these to Ryan."
"..."
"He should be in reception or on stage B."
"..."

Eventually it was decided that it was just easier for everyone to do this stuff themselves so decided to give me a location for where I'd be playing. It was a little arm chair in the lobby where everyone would be coming in. It seemed like a fine spot for a nice little acoustic caroling session. Except, the stage. You know, the one with the professional audio system. You know, the audio system that was BLARING FUCKING CHRISTMAS MUSIC, was only separated from reception by a thin, pseudo wall with giant openings in it. I, like this is even worth mentioning, had no electronic amplification of any sort. Lets get this shit over with.

My role in this party was just another station the kids could wander to. I wasn't a designated sing-along event that all the kids would have to sit through. I had to compete with bead making and a dance station and a goddamn Play-Dough table. Dude, a white guy with a guitar can't compete with Play-Dough in the eyes of a five year old. The only kids who came up to me were egged on by their parents so they could snap pictures. And that only happened three times in like, an hour. I actually played "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground during one of the longer lulls.

Then, when they set up the snack table right in front of me, I didn't get a single cookie.

Getting into the music scene is going to harder than I thought.