So, Gavin
and I got our health checks this morning. I found out this was happening at
about 11:30 last night just as I was finally nodding off.
Gavin and I
are to meet yet another assistant (we’ve met two and I have phone numbers for
one other) at 8:30 out of the company’s office building, which I have yet to
see at this point. Luckily, Gavin had been the day prior and leads us there. It’s
only a ten minute walk from our apartment and we’re early. We camp on the steps
and are finally approached by Shirley,
the woman who’s designated to help us through this whole ordeal. I assume we’re
ready to go. Then she tells me: “we’re waiting for Auntie.”
Oh joy.
She shows
up after another ten minutes and we all clamber into her car, which seems
rather decent. It inspires me to wonder what the hell this woman actually does
for a living. Anyway, she whisks us across a bridge away from the heart of the
city to a creepy little government building with an overly bureaucratic name. I
didn’t think to write it down but it was something like “The Chinese-Guilin
International Office of Entering and Exiting Citizens Public Security.”
Seriously, there were a lot of words in the name of this building.
We were led
to the side so our pictures could be taken in a little studio. Glad I wore an
undershirt and skipped the shower. That mixed with another restless night of
sleep will make sure my documents capture the real Eric: the confused, sleepy,
unkempt thing wandering the streets of this bat-shit crazy Country.
Luckily,
this is a short diversion and we’re shuttled off to an equally bureaucratic
travel clinic. We park around back and sneak in through another side door,
sliding an overturned table out of our way to make our entrance. Real official…
If I didn’t have diseases already now is a good as time as any to start.
We’re given
some forms and fill out all we can (still need an address people) and are led
from one cubical to another. This examination seems a lot more involved than
the one I’d have to leave the States. The first step was a four point
electromyocardiogram (my best guess). It was that, an ultrasound (it’s a boy),
chest x-ray, blood sample, urine sample, eye test, the works. The most unnerving
parts were Auntie stalking around and recounting her previous endeavors with us
hopeless Westerners. That, and peering into ever examining window she could
seem to find. All I could think was “please. Please don’t do that while I’m in
there.”
The whole
process only took about an hour, which was merciful, and then we were off for
home.
Well, only
before we swung through some apartment complex to deliver a printer and cell
phone to some woman. Is that how Auntie keeps afloat? Electronics smuggler?
Repair woman? I have no idea.
All I know is that in one week I should know just how many
diseases I picked up because of that health check.
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