The Life and Times of “Auntie”

This woman is an enigma. Or she might be. Really, I can’t understand anything she’s saying. I’ve mentioned her before in my posts, I believe, but after this morning she just deserves a bit more of the spot light.

As mentioned, she was the one who helped show us our apartment and get us moved in on Sunday morning. However, she also showed up last night at like, 9:15-ish. Mind you, I’d just given up and come out of a cool shower and retreated to my air conditioned room when I heard the banging at the door. I heard Gavin respond so I just ignored it but then I heard her.

As near as I could figure, she was coming to make sure we were comfortable. I had resigned to sleep so my air conditioner was running pretty heavy, mostly because no matter what the settings on the remote read it only seems to have one output level. This was good. Gavin, on the other hand, doesn’t sweat as easily as I do and was comfortable just to have his windows open. This was bad.

Auntie tried to pantomime that my room was freezing and that was right and Gavin’s room was too hot and that was wrong. I tried to explain in my broken Chinese that we’re both okay. She assumed that his air conditioner was broken and kept turning it on and holding her hand in front of it to feel the air. She also wanted Gavin to do something to his air conditioner with an old pillow case. That part still has me confused.

I’m not sure what changed, but her next tactic was to indicate that Gavin should haul his mattress into my room and sleep on my floor. Gavin and I are cool, but we’ve been sharing a room for the past week. The space is welcome. However, that concept is difficult to explain. So I just resolve to repeat “我么是很好！” Which, I hope, translates into “we are both very good” until she leaves. That didn’t work.

We cycle through these first few steps a few times. Me, knowing she doesn’t speak English and being an ass, begin to say simply in English “please go. We don’t understand you. You are making us very sad.” Gavin was amused and Auntie said “Hello.” Her one English word. Sigh.

Eventually, she did leave. I’m not sure what worked in the end. The whole encounter, which took maybe twenty minutes, was one of the most random and confusing experiences of my life.

Also, she told us to close our windows at night or we’d be eaten by rats.